on being beautiful

this could be one of the cliche(est) posts i've ever written, but i'm going to write it anyway because this is my blog, and it's going to be different from other posts about beauty.

this past weekend i went on a winter retreat with my youth group. in one word, it was amazing. the speaker was amazing, the worship was amazing, the friends were amazing, it was just all great. i think the main thing i left with this weekend was learning that i am truly beautiful. i can't tell you how many times i've heard the "everyone is beautiful" phrase or we're beautiful because we're made in his image. i get it. i just have never grasped it and held on to it. the messages this weekend weren't even focused on beauty, but i think my mind was more open to things and i thought a lot.

this random girl came up to me during free time on saturday at the camp and said this:

"this is going to sound really odd, but i've seen you like 40 times this weekend already and i just thought i should tell you you're really pretty." i was literally in shock, like, are you talking to me? i told her thank you and she left. i know this sounds pathetic but i swear this girl was an angel, i looked for her the whole rest of the weekend and could not find her anywhere. at the last two sessions i sat at the highest point in the chapel and looked for her again. even if she wasn't an angel, she was to me. so dearest stranger, thank you. thank you for catching me at a moment when i was looking for something, someone, to just help me understand beauty. thank you so much for coming up to me, and braving talking to some random stranger. thank you, thank you, thank you.

a few days later i had another girl i rarely talk to at all anymore message me on facebook:
"hey kiley! i know we haven't seen each other or talked in a long while but i just wanted to send you this little message! i would like to commend you on your dedication to two things. first is your photography. i think that it is so amazing the talent you have at such a young age. to think that someone my age has a legit business and that you're actually doing like all the work is amazing. and they way you capture God's amazing beauty and all of your friends and families and customers. it is absolutely amazing. secondly is your relationship with christ. it is evident in what you say, do, and all the pictures that you capture that you are a women of christ and that you and the lord are very close. it is a very wonderful thing to see that nowadays! whenever i see your posts, tweets, or statuses it fills my heart with joy and happiness to see such a strong bond! so i just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate all your posts and your wonderful godly attitude!"

i almost started crying. i was in the middle of reading my bible and already feeling just so full of joy and then i get this. the lord is absolutely rewarding me for digging deeper and getting into his word. i know it.

God is so so so good.

this all being said, i've accepted my flaws. i've accepted not being the skinniest girl, not having a perfectly clear face,  and i'm going to change things. i'm going to not be lazy, and i'm going to take care of my body by being healthier and not letting my diabetes control me. after all, laziness is in a sin. (check proverbs.)

prayer would be appreciated that i stay on this path and do not stray away. i'm excited and inspired. my heart aches for the girls who go so far as to starve themselves and harm themselves because they hate their bodies so much. stay strong everyone, you were made perfectly in his amazing image.

xoxo
kiley.